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My name is John I am the webmaster who thought about and built this web site. I am 70 years of age, so it could be said that I have lived and seen a bit of life. I was brought up in the Catholic faith, went to a Catholic school and lived in a Catholic family. Who I think did a good job in bringing me up with good understanding towards people and the World in general. My early life was good even though I was born in 1939 just before the 2nd World war started. I remember as a child being in the air raid shelter and hearing a stick of three bombs straddle us two East of us and one to the West. About four hundred yards away. I thought it was great, big whistles and bangs.! My poor Mother was probably scared out of her mind. "I was to young to know fear". The war ended and we moved to the coast, life was good. At 19 I was called up and did my National service in Malaya. I married and had two children, working hard for my family in the family Decorating business. along side my Father and Grandfather. Grandfather retired leaving Dad and me in the business. We never got rich, but always had enough. "just" Then Dad developed cancer of the gullet, had two operations and died after eighteen months, in agony. During his sickness I prayed and prayed. I think I demanded God to help Dad. God did not listen I was sure. So I left my Church, left God and walked in the wilderness for more than four years. My Mother had died suddenly only eight months before Dad became sick. Possibly this pain caused Dad to become sick. "I don't know". During my four years or so as an unbeliever I began to think mankind is not like an animal. We can paint lovely pictures, make beautiful music, build magnificent buildings. I started again to look for God. I was drawn towards Buddhism and read about the belief and liked what I read. It was gentle, no living thing should be hurt or destroyed in this faith. Then I looked at other faiths, but I kept thinking that how after two thousand years should a lowly carpenter. Who was executed as a criminal aged only thirty three have such a following. I felt for me all that I needed was in the new testament. God loves me and all mankind.! If we are sorry for our wrong doings he will forgive us.! He demands that we love one another. These few words say it all for me. I believe them. God will not alter anything created by mankind because we were all given a free will. We are not puppets, we are empowered to do good or bad things. I believe that when we cry God cries with us. God could change anything he wanted, but mankind's free will to do right or wrong would be removed. Would God or ourselves want this. All the Worlds wrongs are caused by us. ""Not God almighty"". I have returned to my Catholic faith , as I have found that it has changed from the old authoritarian way. Now I think it is in harmony with the teachings of Jesus. I do believe that belonging to a church and having faith gives you great inner peace. |
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